For a while, figuring out why I loved design years ago felt like searching for a lost treasure. I sipped my morning tea, stretched, did my quick exercise routine, and even tossed laundry in the washing machine, all while pondering. But the answer stayed hidden.

It was like my design passion had gone on a little adventure!

The Engineer Mama Path

Instead of remembering the "why," I mostly remembered the "what." My parents nudged me towards engineering, so I became an engineer! I got good grades in drawing, creating 3D models, and handling projects, but deep down, math and chemistry were my true loves. Stuff like "thermodynamics" and "fluid dynamics" just didn't spark the same joy. My heart belonged to my final project, figuring out how a car's gearshift worked!

I became what I called an "Engineer Mama," working for a smaller company. My days were filled with adventures: getting materials ready for tests, dealing with a friendly (but noisy) Doberman at night, calling for concrete deliveries, and even checking bridge strength, all with sensors and data-acquisition (DAQ) device from IMC. What mattered most to me weren't the expensive tests, but the exciting results they brought through their sophisticated interface-how did the calculation were being made!

While doing all those activities, I actually need to sell (Sales Engineer yo) a product to client too. Sales in this industry is quite dirty, whereby I need to give an advance “compensation” in order for the procurement of that particular company to process our proposal. Heck man!

This is against my value. I resigned. Looking into another engineering field such as O&G industry, I manage to get a few interviews and somehow it was not succeed due to inadequate experience, I was penny less and lost in the city. No money. I have to postpone my marriage, too.

A New Direction: Making a Difference

Unsure of what to do next, I used my photography skills, something I learned and enjoyed in college with a friend named Fad Forecast (we bought a unit of Nikon D30 during that time). Through some unexpected connections, I found a short-term job at Qurban Kasih Ummah (QKU), an organization that helps Muslims share the benefits of meal to people in need around the world. Here, I met amazing people like Iqbal, Kak Jannah, Pak Cik Nasir, and Yeong (at first, I thought he was a Chinese Muslim, but he wasn't!).

Two things filled me with joy. Seeing the good that came from people's generous donations gave me a warm feeling inside, unlike anything I had while being an engineer, even though I earned 50% pay cut. And guess what? I even got a free trip to Cambodia for work! This opened my eyes to the amazing possibilities of this new path.

Wanting to make an even bigger impact, I looked for an organisation that fit my changing goals - things like staying active, feeling connected to others, doing something meaningful, using my skills in a cool way, and having a job that would end soon. With help from amazing friends like Aiman, Luqman, and Yeong, I landed a job at Aqsa Syarif (now part of MyCARE, a trusted Malaysian charity).

Using Creativity for Good

Unexpectedly, I spent seven years at Aqsa Syarif working with the awesome people who started the organisation ("as-sabiqun al-awwalun"). They gave me opportunities to grow and use my skills to better help the people who donated their money, and also the beneficiaries. From making my first poster on Photoshop (breaking lifetime record), to leading communication and marketing efforts for worldwide campaigns, and participating in over 15 missions helping people in different states, I contributed to the organisation's goal of providing ongoing help and assisting in freeing Palestine.

Through this journey, I discovered a deeper passion for helping others compared to just focusing on science. While my Mom might have had a different dream for me, I can't help but quote Eminem, "I said sorry Mama, I never meant to hurt you." And unlike what she might have thought, I didn't work for the government!

Another Leap and Embracing Change: Stepping Up!

Change is always happening, and people are the constant thread throughout history. As the saying goes, "you know it is about time" when your heart tells you so. It was time to step outside my comfort zone and try something new, moving from a non-profit to a for-profit company. My supportive wife (phew, finally got married) was a big cheerleader in this decision.

My reason for this leap was simply a desire to "be better." Believing the world is not evolving around just us, is no different with having a sole identity, be it as individual and also as an organisation. Adapting to the ever-changing world and industry requires a certain level of maturity and accepting the need to evolve.

My friendtor (not Friendster + Thor, friend and mentor) Rahmah Pauzi, introduced me to an article called "Design Value For Business by McKinsey," which changed my understanding of design. It showed me how design, beyond just looking good, beyond anything that I have achieved, on how it can have a big impact on businesses and society.

It's true, the lines between philanthropy and capitalism can get blurry this day. But I believe they can complement each other, creating a win-win situation! Since then, I've been diving deeper, exploring the connectedness within our society's ecosystem.

Is it our heart or mind who made up our decision?

How business model & brand actually work?

What kind of content captures people's attention in this digital age?

Are there bookworms still out there, or have they all migrated to screens?

What standards define success in creative agencies?

What kind of homes are people searching for, and are there still buyers willing to tackle the issue of unsold properties worth almost RM17B?

What kind of "entertainment mix" plays in people's minds, shaping their desires and aspirations?

But beyond these questions lies an even deeper one:
what truly defines "enough" or "complete"?

What do I want from design?

Can I be happy with...just design? Is happiness simply a state of being, or is it a continuous journey of exploration and growth? or winning against something?

Do you think I have the answer?

Maybe.

To reveal and visualise the real problem that we actually need to accept, and then to propose a sustainable solution for them, and to able to see the impact was proven, these entire processes are what design are meant for.

To keep looking, for the greatest answer,
with this creative responsibility.